We;ve been together a year and a half. We;ve been living together almost a year now. We are very much intermingled financially and personally by this point, and I;m concerned that I might have gotten myself involved with someone who isn;t good for me. He just got a new job 2,000 miles from where we lived when we met, and I moved with him across the country to be with him. In doing so, I gave up any prospect for working, as I work in a profession where it is very difficult to get licensed; I was licensed in the state we lived in, but it will take 6 months or more for me to get licensed in the state we moved to. It;s really complicated to explain, but I also became dependent on him for health insurance, which wouldn;t have been the case if I hadn;t moved with him. For the most part, he is very loving and supportive. He pays most of the bills while I study to take a licensing exam so I can eventually start working. He is supportive of my professional plans, and wants me to be happy in my career. He was very loving and supportive recently when my dad died, and seems to be a bit emotionally dependent on me, but not in a way that seems unhealthy to me. He said a few things to me early on in our relationship that stunned me, but seemed out of the ordinary, so I ignored them. Now they;ve gotten SO FREQUENT that I feel I can;t ignore it anymore. I think he is controlling, for one thing, and he also is very critical of the way I do things. He also has started scolding me for things – I don;t know how else to describe it.So for instance, I told him a couple of weeks ago that my licensing exam, which will last three days, is 30 miles from our house, and I was thinking about getting a hotel room a couple of nights bcs I don;t want to spend valuable time stuck in traffic and potentially be late for my test. His response was, "No, you;re not doing that." As though I had asked him for permission. Last weekend we went camping, and I was making dinner, and I put water in the camping pan and he kept saying, "You put too much water in it! What is your plan?? Tell me your plan! You can;t just dump this water out here!" I had also seen that we had forgotten a little part of the coffee press, and I wanted coffee, so I decided I would just make it without the little piece, and he shoved the whole thing at me and said, "I;m not doing it then, if you think you can make it work, you can do it." A couple of weeks ago, he was reviewing the bills, and there were a couple of MY bills on the list that I hadn;t paid yet (this had nothing do to do with him at all, so I never knew why he was so upset) and he screamed at me, "I;ve been waiting two weeks for you to take care of this!!! Tell me when you;re going to get this done!!!" A couple of the classic things he;s said to me, which still haunt me, are when he told me once, when we were out riding bikes, "If you get off your bike one more time, we;re going home!!" And one of the things he said early in our relationship, which should have given me a clue, was when we got home late after seeing a show and I wanted a drink, and he said, "no, it;s too late. You can;t have a drink." He also very frequently criticizes the way I do things, always, "that;s not how you do it," or "what are you doing??!!" And he second guesses every frickin decision I make, like I reserved a zipcar for 2.5 hours when we needed to go shopping far away, and he said, "really? You think we need it for 2.5 hours?" Then when we went shopping, every single thing I picked up to put in the cart he had some kind of criticism of: Why do we need 6 cans of tomatoes? Did you look to see if that has salt in it? I;m not going to be eating that salsa, so I don;t know why we;re buying that brand,etc. etc. until I just broke down crying and had to leave the store. I am starting to feel like every decision I make, even the little tiny ones, I worry he;s going to criticize me. I also sometimes forget that I;m an adult and able to make decisions for myself, like whether I want a drink, and I give in to him without even thinking about it anymore. I tried recently to tell him how I feel, and we ended up in a huge argument. The topic got brought up again tonight, and and he was angry and defensive, so I felt like I couldn;t talk about it. So I don;t know. I guess I;m wondering, based on what I;ve said, does it seem like he;s doing anything wrong? I don;t know if it makes a difference, but I am 44 years old, and he is about to turn 30. It makes it seem even weirder and wrong when I think about our ages – I should be able to calculate, by now, how long I will need a car for, or whether I can walk my bike up a steep hill, without someone second guessing me or yelling at me. I also wonder, if there is
Author Archives: paydot
Can you file bankruptcy against in auto insurance claim in new mexico?
Bankruptcy is not a "targeted" action. if your debts grossly exceed your assets and ability to pay, you can perhaps file for bankruptcy.
What do I do to change car insurances?
If I want to change car insurance half way through my insurance plan do I need to call and cancel my current plan or can I just not pay my bill and it;ll cancel that way?
Why is child support so high?
and why does everyone think men are just complaining about supporting their child…and why do people tell them they shouldn;t have children if they cannot support them?It sounds like most people think that men are the cause of all failed marriages and they should just be happy they are shipping 20-40% of their income to a former spouse simply because the court says so…not because it actually cost that much to support a child. Personally, my ex-wife was a loony who chased me through the house with an ax, followed me everywhere i went, started off as verbally abusive then became physically abusive. These things began to happen around my child so I left, for his sake. Being in the military, I had to live in a little barracks room while she lived in our home for a year so the divorce could be finalized. The court then used this – imposed situation – to declare that he had been with her, and not me for a year, therefore, custody denied. After 8 years of court battles, I lost 33% of my $200k home, that I owned before we met, I lost ~$40k in lawyers fees (6 different lawyers over the years), I was never given a fair hearing where the judge even listened to more then 10 minutes of my evidence against her, I pay $1386 a month for one child….25% of my taxable income plus insurance plus a 529 college fund plus 50% of all travel. Meanwhile, my 40 year old ex-wife, lives with her parents, doesn;t maintain a good job, doesn;t keep our child well clothed, doesn;t encourage him to participate in extra curricular activities, doesn;t keep his hair cut.Meanwhile, I have remarried, have three more children, maintain a 4 br home so he has a room when he visits, i fly all the way across the country just to see him for weekends. The court cares nothing about this short version of details, doesnt care that she had harassed me, denied my visitation, frustrated my visitation, attempted to and is still working on totally destroying my relationship with him, doesnt encourage him to call me, doesn;t answer the phone when i call… oh ya, and they order me to pay her legal fees so she can have a lawyer even though i have to go sometimes without one. To add insult to injury…the court has never met my son, doesn;t know what he looks like and doesn;t even care where the $16,000+ I send her goes every year….its none of my business. They don;t care that I cannot afford to spend $1386 a month on my other three children. They wont even take their existence into account when they calculate the child support.So go ahead, tell me that I should just shut up and pay. Go ahead tell me to throw good money after bad and go back to court once again so another judge can destroy my life without even having the decency to look me in the eye. Tell me ladies and gentleman…why is child support so high and so impersonal that they cannot even take the time to ensure that it makes sense. I have a theory….matching federal funds for child support agencies. Why do men who have never missed a payment, never denied their child support, why are they under the department of child support agency…because the state gets paid by the federal government based on the amount of child support collected…not the number of dead beat dads collected from. Then they take those matching funds and transfer them to the general fund so they can use it to pay for their deficit spending and bloated bureaucracy. Why don;t ALL children get treated equally under the law…regardless if they are the subject of a support order or if they are merely the step-brother. so many questions….no real answers. no lawyers with the balls to fight hard because the next day…they got to face the same judge again…they don;t want to be the squeaky wheel they dont want to rock the boat…they don;t want to bit the hand that feeds them because without an inequitable system…there would be no need for the volume of practicing family law lawyers. they also don;t want to introduce real rules of court, real rules of evidence, real consequences for perjury in to family court because they might actually have to be a lawyer and study the case law and be smart…instead….the lawyers that cannot hack it in corporate or trial law….become bankruptcy and family lawyers…because they cannot hack it in the real legal world…where is that one lawyer who will read this…contact me and tell me i am wrong. if you have the gonads and an articulate tongue to prove to me that you care…and your willing to get paid based on your performance….then i have a retainer waiting for you. until then…i will save my money so i can buy a computer with a shift key that works.i look forward to the many responses i get from this…make them good.oh, i forgot one detail…my marriage lasted a whopping 14 months so don;t be thinking that this was a long loving marriage and she deserved all of this money, property and consideration.
How much will my car insurance be?!?
I;ve had my provisional for less than a month, I am 17, with a Nissan Micra 2006. How much will my insurance be along with other costs? Thanks guys. x
